02 June 2014 @ 02:57 pm
Don't feel like facing the world today.

I'd rather curl up in an isolated corner and not have to function. Or wake up.
1. My idea of socialising involves good people and good conversation. Now with that thumping bass beat and music about as loud as you get in a rock concert (except in that case I'm actually going for the music), that simply ain't possible.

2. All the dancing I've ever seen in clubs has fallen into 3 categories. Awkward bobbing/hand motions, drunken flailing, and grinding/grabbing. Oh and Mambo, so make that 4. None of which are particularly appealing to me.

3. Speaking of grinding and grabbing, as a (dare I say attractive) young woman, I'm particularly wary of possible unwanted attention in clubs. Ladies Night and all the other objectifying practices clubs partake in do nothing to allay that fear.

4. There's definitely an expectation to dress up and to make yourself attractive (for the men dammit) when you go to a club. Now a fitted dress I can rock, but 4 inch heels will have my feet screaming in agony before I even get there. And no I will NOT fork out $800 just so I can sit or have a table.

5. Speaking of finances, drinks, especially in Singapore, are expensive, dammit. Yet unfortunately necessary to let loose enough to disregard the fact that someone is squeezing past me, that at any time a creepy dude might start groping me, that the strobe lights are disorientating enough to make me lose my balance and sprain an ankle, that I plain dislike the music and its volume.

The only ever time I had fun dancing and flailing to music was on the Town Green during Supernova (that school rock concert). The music was so-so, but there was space to breathe, I was in tank top, shorts and low heeled boots, I was 100% comfortable with the company, and I could flop wherever I wanted in case of exhaustion. Being mildly buzzed was perhaps secondary.

In short, I've been to clubs three times. And I still hate them.

And yet against my probably better judgement, I simply feel the need to learn to like them. Fml.
01 June 2011 @ 12:23 am
I still don't understand why Dion saw it fit to make me captain of the DECS Coed squad.

To put things into perspective,
1. I started tumbling classes at the end of last year, around September maybe? Only switched to cheerleading around February. And after two sessions sprained my ankle and was absent for 2 months or so.

2. I have never cheered on a coed squad. I don't even know what half the mounts we use are called. I still, in my opinion, kind of suck. My liberties are still iffy and on a coed squad at this level if you can't do a liberty, you fail.

3. I know so few people on this squad. That makes for a lot of getting-to-know-yous. How do you assume leadership if no one knows who you are?

4. The coed squad is level 6 (all-girls is aiming for level 5). Quite frankly I don't know what that means in technical terms. To me level 6 equals "highest difficulty level". Ask about legalities and I draw a blank.

5. I still can't tumble more than a round-off. We can thank my ankle for that.

Given, I've directed Rag dance and stunts, I'm pretty committed and don't whine, have competed regionally in diving, managed not to kill anyone (including myself) on my first attempt at a full downs (both left and right), and Dion has faith that I'll master a heel stretch with a double down dismount by March next year, but nevertheless the dynamics of this seem so strange. I don't mind a challenge, but one has to admit that this is odd.

Dion, I hope you made the right choice. You must either have an insane amount of faith or you're completely overestimating me. YOU DIDN'T EVEN GIVE ME A CO-CAPTAIN.

(Also let's hope that no one else thinks this completely ridiculous and develops a grudge.)
Mood: baffled
28 May 2011 @ 03:06 am
Cannot wait for Sunday DECS (that's outside cheerleading) training. I have this need to fly. Or alternatively, get drunk.

"This is very bad." (J. Chee, 2011)
Mood: reckless
30 April 2011 @ 06:33 pm
I think perhaps the only other time I've felt this shitty was in year 2 sem 1, during the portable seating device project when I'd just recovered from stomach flu (no eating for 3 days and barely any water), and then came down with the regular cold-type flu, and had to work overnight with hot chlorine-emitting PVC. I don't think it was even half as bad though because I didn't go this many days without sleep.

So I've had maybe 3 proper night's rests in the past fortnight and I didn't slept on 2 of the last 3 days and my period is here and giving me cramps and my entire body aches from it. I just feel so cotton stuffed in the head and it sucks because I still have to think about what to do next and my brain's so sluggish that I swear it takes me 5 mins to figure out if I should cut paper or check on my CNC or go sand the model that just came out of the machine. I just want to be engulfed in an embrace and rocked while sleeping (really dead to the world) for an hour or something. I just feel that awful.
Mood: exhausted